As a crazy author some days, when you're trying to figure out the missing plot point or the next move, you get lost. (I'd have to ask a "sane" author about this but I suspect it's true for them as well ;-) Much of the time you get lost inside your own head. This happens to me more often than the dreaded "writer's block". I get turned around, lost in my own thoughts and feelings, swept up in the passion of scenes, be they my own or someone else's. I'm a passionate person by nature and I tend towards an addictive personality. Are you laughing? I know, it doesn't show a lot but that's because if I'm not careful, I get caught up in it and struggle to find my way out. The frustrations mount, the thoughts won't stop until I find some kind of release. I sought refuge with my sister yesterday trying to get out of my own head. I spent an hour with her, the thoughts settled and I was able to finish the day. Almost. Then came the time for bed. My worst enemy yet favored hero as well. Trying to shut my brain down for the night had me in tears. The thoughts screamed at me until I reached for my phone, opened the notepad app and began to type. Here are the resulting words...
Lost Inside
It's hot and dark
So dark nothing shines
Not a crack or crevice
No pinprick or sliver
I feel I'm turning in circles
Arms spread, searching for the way out
I call out and nothing answers
No reply, no echo
It's simply empty and dark
I'm lost and no matter how I scream
No matter how loud the music floating in
There is no answer until the tears start to fall
When my chest seizes and clamps down
When the sobs tear from me
The pressure releases
The light shines in
And the path is lit
I'll follow it through twists and turns
Until it begins to shadow
And we'll start all over again
I'm no poet, I never have been, but this felt right...I've not altered it in the light of day though I've got ideas. I cringe about putting it out there for the world (or my 11 followers ;-) to see without doing something to it but in this form, it's pure. It's what settled my head enough for the tears to stop and allowed sleep to slowly creep in. I think words from the heart are the best, whether they're rough or polished. I'll leave this in it's rough form because it worked. How do you find your way out of your own head?
Loves and Hugs,
Lynn
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