As a crazy author some days, when you're trying to figure out the missing plot point or the next move, you get lost. (I'd have to ask a "sane" author about this but I suspect it's true for them as well ;-) Much of the time you get lost inside your own head. This happens to me more often than the dreaded "writer's block". I get turned around, lost in my own thoughts and feelings, swept up in the passion of scenes, be they my own or someone else's. I'm a passionate person by nature and I tend towards an addictive personality. Are you laughing? I know, it doesn't show a lot but that's because if I'm not careful, I get caught up in it and struggle to find my way out. The frustrations mount, the thoughts won't stop until I find some kind of release. I sought refuge with my sister yesterday trying to get out of my own head. I spent an hour with her, the thoughts settled and I was able to finish the day. Almost. Then came the time for bed. My worst enemy yet favored hero as well. Trying to shut my brain down for the night had me in tears. The thoughts screamed at me until I reached for my phone, opened the notepad app and began to type. Here are the resulting words...
Lost Inside
It's hot and dark
So dark nothing shines
Not a crack or crevice
No pinprick or sliver
I feel I'm turning in circles
Arms spread, searching for the way out
I call out and nothing answers
No reply, no echo
It's simply empty and dark
I'm lost and no matter how I scream
No matter how loud the music floating in
There is no answer until the tears start to fall
When my chest seizes and clamps down
When the sobs tear from me
The pressure releases
The light shines in
And the path is lit
I'll follow it through twists and turns
Until it begins to shadow
And we'll start all over again
I'm no poet, I never have been, but this felt right...I've not altered it in the light of day though I've got ideas. I cringe about putting it out there for the world (or my 11 followers ;-) to see without doing something to it but in this form, it's pure. It's what settled my head enough for the tears to stop and allowed sleep to slowly creep in. I think words from the heart are the best, whether they're rough or polished. I'll leave this in it's rough form because it worked. How do you find your way out of your own head?
Loves and Hugs,
Lynn
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Thursday Thoughts...A long week of missing folks and a growing daughter...
This week has been a rough one for many reasons. First, I'm coming off a week
of overnights for my company. I'm not a great sleeper anyway so to have to
completely reverse my sleep habits for one week and then get them back on track
is pretty brutal. My work team has had a rough go of it for several weeks due
to being short staffed so they're tired and a bit cranky. We've almost made it
though and now we're only one person away from being full staffed. It's a good
thing.
On a personal level, it's been much more difficult. My best friend Sarah passed away four years ago on the 12th. We lost my grandmother twenty one years ago today. It hit me yesterday that despite the two events being seventeen years apart, they both still hurt as if they just happened. The capacity of feelings the heart can hold is astounding. The length if time it maintains those feelings is even longer. You may not think on those feelings all the time, but they're there, simmering in the background.
My daughter turns thirteen in just over a week and she's grown both physically and emotionally a lot in the last couple years. She's genuinely a good kid who just needs a quick kick in the butt once in a while to remind her the world exists outside her bubble...LOL. Her first day of daycare was her second day of kindergarten and she looked so lost and worried that when I said goodbye I surprised her by giving her three quick kisses on the lips, an Eskimo kiss and then one on the forehead I rubbed in so it wouldn't fall off. She thought that was funny and it became our thing much to the amusement of those around us.
This week was the first time she ever hesitated to do it at bed time. I tried to hide my surprise and hurt but didn't manage it too well. She felt bad and I had to assure her that it was okay, she was growing up and we didn't have to do that anymore. So it's a hug and a kiss on the cheek and Mommy has to get used to it. Time moves on and changes are made.
Everyone groans when they hear I have a preteen and wishes me luck, tells me not to kill her and so on. I've never appreciated those comments as I believe our children are what we teach them. Are there rough times ahead? Of course! We all rebel and feel our parents don't understand us but there can still be a solid relationship under that to see you through.
So the week is nearly done and I'm ready for the weekend. I'm picking what story I want to work next, self editing Legacy and getting ready for the Hot Mojave Knights Con the first weekend in October. It's exciting and nerve wracking as it's my first local con. I got this, and know it, but it doesn't ease the wait :0)
Have a fantastic rest of the week and a beautiful weekend!
-Lynn
On a personal level, it's been much more difficult. My best friend Sarah passed away four years ago on the 12th. We lost my grandmother twenty one years ago today. It hit me yesterday that despite the two events being seventeen years apart, they both still hurt as if they just happened. The capacity of feelings the heart can hold is astounding. The length if time it maintains those feelings is even longer. You may not think on those feelings all the time, but they're there, simmering in the background.
My daughter turns thirteen in just over a week and she's grown both physically and emotionally a lot in the last couple years. She's genuinely a good kid who just needs a quick kick in the butt once in a while to remind her the world exists outside her bubble...LOL. Her first day of daycare was her second day of kindergarten and she looked so lost and worried that when I said goodbye I surprised her by giving her three quick kisses on the lips, an Eskimo kiss and then one on the forehead I rubbed in so it wouldn't fall off. She thought that was funny and it became our thing much to the amusement of those around us.
This week was the first time she ever hesitated to do it at bed time. I tried to hide my surprise and hurt but didn't manage it too well. She felt bad and I had to assure her that it was okay, she was growing up and we didn't have to do that anymore. So it's a hug and a kiss on the cheek and Mommy has to get used to it. Time moves on and changes are made.
Everyone groans when they hear I have a preteen and wishes me luck, tells me not to kill her and so on. I've never appreciated those comments as I believe our children are what we teach them. Are there rough times ahead? Of course! We all rebel and feel our parents don't understand us but there can still be a solid relationship under that to see you through.
So the week is nearly done and I'm ready for the weekend. I'm picking what story I want to work next, self editing Legacy and getting ready for the Hot Mojave Knights Con the first weekend in October. It's exciting and nerve wracking as it's my first local con. I got this, and know it, but it doesn't ease the wait :0)
Have a fantastic rest of the week and a beautiful weekend!
-Lynn
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Mis-steps on an Unpaved Road
"No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience"---John Locke
How true this is. I've been bothered lately by a series of wrong moves on the Independent Author path. We're Indie for a reason, most of us, and there's no rule book. No one behind a big desk in NY or LA or wherever, telling you what to do, how to do it and when to do it. It's a learning process with a curve. Some of our curves are larger than others. You have to pick up whatever knowledge you can, wherever you can...articles, classes, social media and interaction. I've spoken to many independent authors and they all have different things to say about how to do it. If we put it all in a book it would be never ending because Indies have to find the path made for them and often, it's one of their own making rather than one repetitively used.
I always feel better when I admit to mistakes even if they're to a large, particular audience. I'm going to give you a couple examples and maybe they'll trigger something for you or help you with something you're struggling with.
Prep work: Book's written, what's next? Editing and a cover. Gotta have a cover for the book when it's edited and ready so I reached out to someone, we hit it off and started hashing out ideas.
First mistake: asking lots of opinions on what's created.
Lesson: Only selectively ask for opinions on what your cover artist creates. Here's the thing, everyone's imagination is different therefore everyone's ideas on what things look like are different. I put my poor cover artist through the wringer before I figured that lesson out myself. I was genuinely surprised she didn't give me a "forget it, it's not gonna work". She knew I was new to this and had the patience of a saint.
Second mistake: She asks "How many pages are in the book, what indentations, etc.?"
Lesson: It's not just putting pretty pictures and letters together. There's a lot more to it than that. Things I had no idea, even after four conferences, that she'd need to know. Why didn't I look it up on the infinite online world? Simply because I didn't know I needed to know it.
YOU'RE PUBLISHED! GET YOUR NAME OUT THERE! PROMOTE, PROMOTE, PROMOTE!
It's the only way to gain sales and get the career you want.
(Insert heavy sigh)
Unfortunately, there's stuff they don't tell you. Again, because everyone's curve is different. I released in November and it wasn't until I stumbled across a small article online about two weeks ago titled something along the line of "4 things not to do". If I can find the link again, I'll post it. I was at work at the time (on break, lower your eyebrows of surprise ;) The one that resonated the most was "don't always post your buy links, it annoys people". WHAT? But everyone said get it out there! Keep your name forefront! Now, in tiny defense, I didn't just post the links. I posted bits of the book with it BUT! I had it rolling several times a week and during the holidays, I set them up to post for me because it was a busy time. I noticed traffic for me slowed down on likes and posts but figured it was the holidays, right? Wrong. I thought about what I'd read and put two and two together.
I discovered today that I have a stats page that will tell me all about what's happening with people and my page. I've been un-liked maybe five times but figured that was more to do with the after release party stuff. Then I saw that a couple people have me hidden...that one stung a lot. Like, almost tears stung. Why? I was just doing what I was told...what everyone suggested. MORE learning curve. The article said people like to communicate and feel like they have a connection with the authors they read. Was I giving that to them? Not really. I was sharing my imagination but not so much me. I've changed that over the last two weeks and noticed a small rise in responses to my posts. People want to see you're human, that you have fun, that you have a serious side sometimes too.
So, hopefully some of those numbers will change and people will meander back. I hope that if you're new like me, that you'll learn from my mistakes and ask questions. You can ask me! I love to help people even if it's only to say "don't do what I did".
Much love and lot of hugs until next time
-Lynn
How true this is. I've been bothered lately by a series of wrong moves on the Independent Author path. We're Indie for a reason, most of us, and there's no rule book. No one behind a big desk in NY or LA or wherever, telling you what to do, how to do it and when to do it. It's a learning process with a curve. Some of our curves are larger than others. You have to pick up whatever knowledge you can, wherever you can...articles, classes, social media and interaction. I've spoken to many independent authors and they all have different things to say about how to do it. If we put it all in a book it would be never ending because Indies have to find the path made for them and often, it's one of their own making rather than one repetitively used.
I always feel better when I admit to mistakes even if they're to a large, particular audience. I'm going to give you a couple examples and maybe they'll trigger something for you or help you with something you're struggling with.
Prep work: Book's written, what's next? Editing and a cover. Gotta have a cover for the book when it's edited and ready so I reached out to someone, we hit it off and started hashing out ideas.
First mistake: asking lots of opinions on what's created.
Lesson: Only selectively ask for opinions on what your cover artist creates. Here's the thing, everyone's imagination is different therefore everyone's ideas on what things look like are different. I put my poor cover artist through the wringer before I figured that lesson out myself. I was genuinely surprised she didn't give me a "forget it, it's not gonna work". She knew I was new to this and had the patience of a saint.
Second mistake: She asks "How many pages are in the book, what indentations, etc.?"
Lesson: It's not just putting pretty pictures and letters together. There's a lot more to it than that. Things I had no idea, even after four conferences, that she'd need to know. Why didn't I look it up on the infinite online world? Simply because I didn't know I needed to know it.
YOU'RE PUBLISHED! GET YOUR NAME OUT THERE! PROMOTE, PROMOTE, PROMOTE!
It's the only way to gain sales and get the career you want.
(Insert heavy sigh)
Unfortunately, there's stuff they don't tell you. Again, because everyone's curve is different. I released in November and it wasn't until I stumbled across a small article online about two weeks ago titled something along the line of "4 things not to do". If I can find the link again, I'll post it. I was at work at the time (on break, lower your eyebrows of surprise ;) The one that resonated the most was "don't always post your buy links, it annoys people". WHAT? But everyone said get it out there! Keep your name forefront! Now, in tiny defense, I didn't just post the links. I posted bits of the book with it BUT! I had it rolling several times a week and during the holidays, I set them up to post for me because it was a busy time. I noticed traffic for me slowed down on likes and posts but figured it was the holidays, right? Wrong. I thought about what I'd read and put two and two together.
I discovered today that I have a stats page that will tell me all about what's happening with people and my page. I've been un-liked maybe five times but figured that was more to do with the after release party stuff. Then I saw that a couple people have me hidden...that one stung a lot. Like, almost tears stung. Why? I was just doing what I was told...what everyone suggested. MORE learning curve. The article said people like to communicate and feel like they have a connection with the authors they read. Was I giving that to them? Not really. I was sharing my imagination but not so much me. I've changed that over the last two weeks and noticed a small rise in responses to my posts. People want to see you're human, that you have fun, that you have a serious side sometimes too.
So, hopefully some of those numbers will change and people will meander back. I hope that if you're new like me, that you'll learn from my mistakes and ask questions. You can ask me! I love to help people even if it's only to say "don't do what I did".
Much love and lot of hugs until next time
-Lynn
Thursday, January 1, 2015
The rare Two-fer...
Two posts is a week! An amazing accomplishment for me...lol. I've decided I want to talk about the New Year and goals. I don't do resolutions. They've become a joke anymore and if I want to do something, I don't want people looking at it and saying "Another list of things that will be ignored after the first week". I have goals this year. And they are good ones for me. Here they are:
1) To get back on my exercise program. I was up to 50 pounds lost over a year before I got off my program and sadly put most of it back on. When you're overweight you feel it in every joint. It's not fun and I miss not hurting everyday. I use my fitness pal on my phone and if anyone else does, look for me (Stacey Greene) and we can be friends on their and support each other.
2) I will release the remaining two books in my trilogy, Binding Elements.
3) I will work on the anxiety I have with crowds so that I can interact better at conferences.
4) I will work on learning how to control my money, rather than it controlling me.
5) I will learn more about getting myself out there and using social media to raise the awareness of my books
6) I will help who I can achieve their dream as so many helped me over the last two years
7) I will continue raising my daughter to the best of my ability and balancing both the day job and writing with spending time with her
Seven is a magical number so I'll stop there but there's always something new to accomplish and why limit yourself with lists! Go! Do what you can! Be a better person, parent, lover, friend and love life for what you can get and not hate it for what you can't. Focus on the good and let the bad slide past. Bad will happen but don't let it bury the good.
Loves, hugs and peace for the new year,
Lynn
1) To get back on my exercise program. I was up to 50 pounds lost over a year before I got off my program and sadly put most of it back on. When you're overweight you feel it in every joint. It's not fun and I miss not hurting everyday. I use my fitness pal on my phone and if anyone else does, look for me (Stacey Greene) and we can be friends on their and support each other.
2) I will release the remaining two books in my trilogy, Binding Elements.
3) I will work on the anxiety I have with crowds so that I can interact better at conferences.
4) I will work on learning how to control my money, rather than it controlling me.
5) I will learn more about getting myself out there and using social media to raise the awareness of my books
6) I will help who I can achieve their dream as so many helped me over the last two years
7) I will continue raising my daughter to the best of my ability and balancing both the day job and writing with spending time with her
Seven is a magical number so I'll stop there but there's always something new to accomplish and why limit yourself with lists! Go! Do what you can! Be a better person, parent, lover, friend and love life for what you can get and not hate it for what you can't. Focus on the good and let the bad slide past. Bad will happen but don't let it bury the good.
Loves, hugs and peace for the new year,
Lynn
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